Perfect Way Of Parenting

school kids bags

school kids bags personalized

She’s been privy to every romance I’ve had. It was Dora who passed on the red rhinestone bracelet my first boyfriend bought for me when he was too shy to give it to me himself. And it was Dora who comforted me two weeks later, when the phone call came announcing he just wanted to be “friends.”

She protected me not just emotionally but physically. Her room was my refuge, my escape from a taunting older brother.

And I was there for her as well — such as when she learned to drive and required a booster seat to see above the steering wheel. I didn’t complain when it took her a half-hour to drive the mile to pick me up from school — or get anxious at the stream of traffic behind us as we made our way home. I was proud of her for taking on a new challenge, one she undertook for herself but also for me.

Why then, given a long history of affection for Dora, do I wrestle with the loving bond she has with my children?

 

school kids bags

school kids bags personalized

My father, a psychiatrist, always said that the first few years of a child’s life are the most critical. The care and nurturing they receive during this time helps determine their capacity for love and empathy and trust. Neglect or deprivation in these years can have serious consequences. But the flip side, an overabundance of love and affection, has only positive benefits.

I’ve learned that with children, love is never a zero-sum game. Just as we wonder whether we’ll love our second child as much as our first. We question whether our kids’ attachment to their nanny diminishes the love they have for us. It’s an understandable concern. But I’ve now been on both ends of it. And I know — intellectually, at least — that there’s no reason to fret.

Do I still have twinges of jealousy when they’re cuddling on the couch? Yes. That may never change. But I comfort to know that Dora is there for them as much as she was — and still is — for me.

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